Packing up

I was told bigger and better things await me over at Wordpress, so I'm making the switch. You can now find me at stvmllr.wordpress.com. We'll see how long it lasts.

As for the real world, I've moved back into Portland. This time on the east side of the river in the Belmont neighborhood (south of Lloyd Center, between Burnside and Hawthorne). Give me a buzz if you're in the area.

Hold the whipped!

I just have two requests.

First, can we give the male servers a break and not call them Baristas? Baristos will do.

Second, can we also make the Double Chocolate Chip Frappachino look and sounds more masculine?

Thank you.

It's neither foggy nor Dec. 24

First I was mistaken for a clown, then I was asked if that's Mars on my nose. Nooooo, it's a zit. Probably the result of stress, or maybe consuming to much greasy food, or indulging on chocolate, or maybe that 50-gallon drum of mixed nuts is to blame.

I've ruled out barometric pressure and the high pollen levels. Currently, I am testing a hypothesis that assumes this pimple is the result of watching so much Major League Baseball on TV. The theory is that the extensive viewing has made my body want to mimic different physical features of a baseball diamond, stating with the pitcher's mound.

So no, I don't have a stop sign on my face, nor do I have the red planet orbiting around my face. It's a zit in the form of a mound....I can live with that.

Thank you...

...to that girl whom with nothing happened, but our encounter last night seemed more awkward than Spock stripping at a Star Wars convention.

...to the former prom date who still lets me show off that I actually had an atractive, non-related female accompany me to the biggest night of my life...so what if it's five years later and we've never been romantically involved? That's beside the point.

...to the inconsistant bartenders, epecially the ones that thought a rum and coke should be see through. I should have tipped you better.

...to the cook at Ringlers that made those tots inhalable.

...to the girl who didn't go ballistic when I cut in line with two other people and accidentally hit her with the rope holder thingy.

...to the residents in the apartment two blocks away who were playing The Stills - "Allison." I totally caught it and recognized it and pranced home singing it.

Misspelling strikes twice.

I came across this at the hospital where I was going through occupational therapy for my smashed thumb injury at the frame shop. I was very reassured that the people helping me rehabilitate my thumb were professionals that didn't know how to spell or notice little details, like the misspelling of one word, two different ways. Come on!

Let me tell you about me and skatebording...

I suck at it. And my wrists hurt (Thanks Chris). I've been defeated by a plank of wood attached to four plastic wheels. By the way, that is the lamest form of transportation, but I envy those who have conquered it.

Four letter word.

Why is it that when I tell people I have a BLOG they look at me as if I just confessed to a priest that I watch PORN? Yes, it's a website, but it doesn't have boobs on it, just words...and they're all small. Quit judging me!

Reinforcing my decision

I recently took an ad sales position at a local publication. Two days later I quit. I was told that I should be more patient. But in the situation I was in, I could not see myself spending another second there. I had to go with my gut. It was not what I wanted to do.

So I went home, and started looking for a new job. And just as often as I breath, I check my email. As I was looking at my inbox I noticed one of those ads that's generated based on the content of your emails. It immediately made me feel better about my decision. The weird thing is that none of my messages mentioned anything about cold calling to my knowledge.

I can only dream.

The ad below comes from a Folgers Coffee campaign that I somehow missed. But today, two guys came in to have it framed. Supposedly they were the creators of this masterpiece, hired by Saatchi & Saatchi NYC (the agency of record). I didn't ask where these guys work. Just check out the ad, it's crazy!


I found this ad and many others here.

Where is the restroom in the TV Funhouse?

Because this little piece almost made me wet my pants. Funny, funny stuff. It's just sad, but not surprising that I knew what they were making fun of.